Funny Friday

The first time this happened we were dating. This particular night we were on a group date with Sam's roommates at their place. The pizza was ordered and there were no drinks. Since Sam and I were involved with part of the set up (little Quinner Binner with a much taller girl, oops) we decided to run to the store while the others mingled. As we were walking out the door I asked Sam if he had his wallet. He immediately answered yes. I then responded with "are you sure, I am leaving my purse here so I don't have any money with me." He assured me he had sufficient funds and we were off. As we are checking out the teller scanned our items and then announced our total. I turn to Sam who had a blank stare on his face, like he was deep in thought. He turned to me and said he didn't have his wallet. Are you kidding me?

Lucky me got left behind at the store, sitting there with our groceries, as Sam ran back home to get his wallet. Why he had to run all the way home? Because the emergency stash of cash I keep in my ash tray was lovingly spent on "emergency donuts and slurpees at 7-11." Some of the most humiliating minutes of my life. Why I was the one that got to stay behind, I am still not sure.

This past Wednesday afternoon I was feeling hungry. Sam was approaching his break time at work, so I decided to visit him so he could keep me company while I ate. As I was driving to him he told me to pick up some food so I could eat with him while in the car. I declined his offer with a new proposition for him to come with me to get food so he could pay for my sandwich. He accepted, and next thing I knew I was ordering my 5 dollar foot long. As the girl is ringing up my order I once again turned to Sam who had that all too familiar blank stare while deep in thought. Unfortunately yes, he did it to me again, and once again I got left behind in the ghetto subway on 9th east while he ran back to his work van to get his wallet.

And he wonders why I often force him to show me his wallet as we are walking out the door...
Sam, it is because your word of having it is just not good enough for me anymore.

Happy Sumo Tales

The most eventful thing that has happened at work in a long time?

I was minding my own business serving some sushi when a little baby squirrel snuck into the open patio door and hopped/ran around the restaurant. It took ten minutes to get the brave little guy back out the door. Who would have guessed that squirrels love sushi too?

Funny Friday

Today's post comes as a plea for help to all you husband closet blog readers out there (you know who you are). I need some advice on an escalating situation. Terri started doing this p90x thing a few weeks ago and it was all fun and games at first, but on Saturdays she does this kenbo or kimpo or whatever workout and it involves a lot of punching. Before when she used to slug me playfully it was no big deal, but lately its been starting to hurt, real bad! I don't know what to do. I am conflicted between living in a society that teaches men to be strong and to ignore pain, but sometimes I feel like the charlie horses are more than I can bare - especially since she has like 10 more weeks to go and I know her judo punches are only going to get harder and harder. I can hear her downstairs right now and I swear the guy just said, "okay, now in the face and gut. HIGH-YAW." What should I do? Please help me!

Funny Friday

So after the five and a half hour MCAT test, a double date was in store for the evening. Mama Pam took the boys and we were off to dinner and a movie. Jana warned me to stop drinking so much water at dinner, especially because we were headed to a movie after, but I was feeling like a camel so I kept drinking. By the time we made it to the theater I was basically dragging Sam, telling him if he didn't walk faster I was going to pee my pants (and we all know when I say that I am not 'just kidding'). Jana and Chuck were a few paces behind us, and then I noticed that they had disappeared as we were heading into Edwards Cinema. I immediately looked for the bathroom, but unfortunately you have to purchase a ticket before you are allowed to pee in this theater, so we rushed to the ticket line. We looked at the movie times and unfortunately (again) we had mixed up the Star Trek time with either a different theater or different movie because the one we had planned on seeing was not available. And with Jana and Chuck no where to be found (they were in the outdoor mall bathroom which Sam had told me I should use but I was trying to be picky) I relented and speedily walked/ran to them and the bathroom.

As I was entering the bathroom I noticed an arcade to my left, where Chuck was standing and looking in. Right across was some random hallway which I quickly passed, followed by the boys bathroom which had no door, just a little curved hallway so you couldn't see directly in, and then the womens hallway with the same kind of curving entrance. I passed Jana on my way in, said hi, and then luckily, for the sake of not having to immediately go home, made it on time. I washed my hands like a good person and then exited the bathroom. As I re-entered the hallway I saw Jana and Chuck both looking into the arcade, but no Sam where I had left him. I heared some flushing toilets in the boys bathroom so my first thought is, oh man, I am going to scare Sam when he comes out (and also hurray that I beat him). I whispered over to Jana, because I didn't want Sam to hear, to check if Sam was in the bathroom. She just looked at me with a weird smile laugh, and since I am clueless and don't catch on very fast, I returned to my post and waited for him to emerge. I heard him walking out, so I got ready, and as soon as I saw him coming I screamed BOO as loud as I could.

The good news: I scared him really bad. He gasped, grabbed his heart, and said "Oh my."

The bad news: It definitely was not Sam. It was some random dude that was playing in the arcade and just wanted to use the bathroom in peace.

Sam, that little stinker, was hiding behind the corner, down that little hallway, waiting for me to walk past so he could scare me. I don't think things could have gone any better for him. As for me? I was kind of embarrassed. Everything happened so fast I almost didn't have time to apologize to the poor sucker that had to walk past me. I hollered sorry at his back as he was walking back into the arcade. Jana and Sam were basically on the floor laughing their heads off, Chuck was probably pretty embarrassed to be with two immature people that still think its funny to scare each other well into adulthood. And I wanted to be mad at Sam for making me scare a stranger...but who could be mad after seeing the look on that poor scared guy's face.

Another Boise Weekend

On Thursday we trekked north towards Boise. We arrived early, checked into our hotel, and tried to have a relaxing evening. We got to bed early, (or at least tried to sleep over the screaming drunk girl party across the hall) woke up early, ate some breakfast, and then I dropped a nervous Sam off at the Prometric testing center so he could take his mcat. Five and a half hours later I picked him up and the fun began...

Friday night Grandma Pam babysat the boys so we could go on a double date (dinner and a movie). We had a lot of fun, a lot of laughs (a good portion at my expense) and you can read all about it on Friday.

Saturday started off with some yard work

Chuck, Sam, and Clyde loaded and unloaded a ton of dirt for a nice flower bed under the front window while Jana weeded the front flower patch.

I sneakily avoided all the work

by claiming I had to take pictures and tend to the children :)

Sam enjoyed climbing the tree of his youth.

A little bit scared when he realized how far up he was :)

And here he is swinging from the branches in between the few hours of yard work.

Trying to get in touch with his inner monkey, and totally unaware of how sore his arms were going to be the next day.

And of course we had to make a trip to the candy store.

This little guy was in heaven with me. We also found out he doesn't really like to chew candy, he just swallows it. How we found out? We gave him a giant gummy shark then started strapping him into his car seat. Ten seconds later he was asking for more. Sure that he must have dropped the other one Sam searched for the shark while I handed him a penguin and I watched him swallow it after one chew. His poor tummy...it probably took a week to digest all that gummy candy.

That evening we headed to the park for a picnic dinner and fun with Papa Braden

there was volleyball, frisbee, football, tennis, and the playground to burn off all that delicious pizza we ate.

Sam playing some tennis with his Pops.

Who is a tennis pro and can take Sam any day :)

We also played doubles against Chuck and Jana who kicked our butts

It was mostly my fault we lost, but I want to blame it on these socks for distracting me.

Here is Sam getting in some good practice pushing the little guys on the swings.

So sad, yet hilarious to watch this little guy run around with his little purple cast.

We read lots of books

And watched a few movies

in an effort to distract the boys from wanting to get tossed around because my arms were so sore.

And then Monday morning, Memorial Day, we decided to go out shooting.

Here is Sam trying to teach me what to do. And apparently it worked because I shot two of the clay discs out of the air. Wahoo!!!

And here are the boys having a shooting contest.

I think Chuck won. It was a bad weekend for us and winning against team Izatt.

We had lots of fun visiting family and getting the mcat out of the way.
Another successful trip to Boise.

Funny Friday

Not because I think this is a really funny story, but because I am proud of myself for pulling off one of the better pranks of my day...

It was Robby and Zenna's wedding day. The little kids got left inside the waiting room of the Salt Lake Temple as the rest of us headed back. We attended the sealing, (which was lovely by the way) and then headed back to the front to join the little kids. Sam and I were the first ones back, and therefore the first ones to talk with the little kids. They immediately asked me how it went, and before I knew what I was doing, the words "Zenna didn't go through with it. She said no." were coming out of my mouth (the chronic liar in me I guess???). They didn't really believe me. It was at this point that Sam walked away from me (because he was mad I was lying in the temple, or trying to not show them he was laughing, I am still not sure). Not willing to give up, I continued to press the idea on them, and I started to get through. However, they didn't fully believe me until my favorite person in the world, Tammy Berg, came out and they pounced on her to ask about it, and she definitely went along with my ploy without any coaching. Best moment ever. At this point they were all in a panic. A lot of "oh my gosh what happened?" and "what are we supposed to do now?" started to get thrown my way as I tried to keep my face straight and answer their questions with shrugged shoulders and "I don't knows." It was a solid twenty minutes before my parents finally walked out, gave me up, and told me I was a bad person.

Now this may be true, but in my defense, when your little brother votes you most likely out of the entire family to go inactive, I think you should be able to do a few things once in awhile to justify that claim.

The four that I tricked. My eyes aren't closed because of the camera this time, Rachel is trying to hit me. Probably because she was still a little bitter at this point.

Next to those four months that I had Sam convinced that I weighed 180 pounds in High School, this is definitely one of my prouder moments.

Funny Friday

The date and some of the details are a little fuzzy on this one (meaning Sam and I disagree on them), but since the track record says I have a way better memory, and I am writing it, we will just go with my side of the story. It was the end of summer three years ago (August ish). It was later in the day and finally beginning to cool off. We were driving from Provo up to Orem, headed to the Thornes (a Braden family friend who Sam lived with for a month or so before Ghana) to possibly drop something off???. We were two streets away when Sam rolled down his window and I got a whiff of an awful smell.

We were still dating so we weren't as comfortable with that sort of thing as we are now, but we had been dating long enough were it wasn't completely foreign territory. I looked at Sam and asked him what that smell was (I was much more naive and didn't blame him as quickly as I do now). He got this scrunched up, intrigued look on his face as he sniffed the air to get a better idea on my inquiries. Then he got this total look of disgust on his face, and I knew he smelled it too. I remember a whole lot of "Oh man, that is disgusting", and "what the heck is that", and even an "oh man, there must be a dirty diaper outside of the car because that smells fresh, and I think I ran it over!" All of these sayings sounded innocent and guilt free, and made me laugh a lot, possibly too much. Because after drinking my huge slurpee there was too much liquid in my bladder and despite my pleas for him to stop making me laugh, he didn't, and I inevitably lost control and peed my pants.

Now this wasn't a little wet spot pee; this was a full on peed my whole bladder out, you could easily see it everywhere, I need to go home and change RIGHT NOW. By this time we are about one street away and I plead for him to just take me home as he hands me a towel from the back seat to sit on so I don't ruin the upholstery in brown. He tells me he is just going to run in really fast and get the errand finished as he parks the car and runs up to the house. I grumpily sit there in my waste for a few minutes kind of embarrased, but mostly just mad at this point that I am so uncomfortable. A few minutes later Sam walks out of the house with brother and sister Thorne, paper towels in his hand, and looks of smiling pity from the nicest couple ever. At this point I am mortified that he told them I actually peed my pants, and I am praying they don't come over to talk to me; just them knowing was all the embarassment that I could take. I contemplate Sam's murder a few times over in my head as he and I wave goodbye and he runs back to the car.

As he gets back in he tells me he has two confessions to make, and asks me to promise not to get mad at him. I tell him what he wants to hear to get him to talk, knowing full well I am still going to get mad if he deserves it. He told me he lied to the Thornes and had told them I had just spilled my slurpee all over my lap and that is why I did not come in with him (good cover Sam, I am proud of you). His next confession, not that good of news. He tells me that smell we had smelled earlier, it was definitely him. He did not think it would smell that bad and he thought he would be able to get away with it because one of the windows in the car was rolled down. I start yelling laughing, trying to figure out how he honestly thought he would be able to get away with it when we were in a CAR. He tells me he is sorry, as I am dying laughing from teasing him so much (and I wasn't going to admit this because scientifically speaking im not sure how its possible, but I may have peed my wet pants more). I tell him don't ever try to get away with it in the car ever again unless we are driving 80mph on the freeway with all the windows down through a stinky cow town so he can blame it on them. Then I beg him to take me home, as he begs me to never tell this story to anyone; a promise that, whether or not I made, I never planned on keeping.