A Hogle Zoo Day

As a reward for passing his motorcycle permit test on his first try, Sam got to bring his family back to Utah with us. We started out the week with a trip to the Hogel Zoo in Salt Lake to kick off Wilbur's zoo themed birthday.

Here we are in front of the zoo smiling....

...because we hadn't realized yet how cold it actually was.

Despite the weather, we had fun watching the monkeys fight

and posing for pictures with cheesy smiles on our faces.

Here we are in front of the rhinos

fighting over holding the babies so they could keep us a little bit warmer...

...and then feeding those babies to some bears hidden in their pen.

Sam was pretty obsessed with those hidden black bears. He spent about twenty minutes making every sound known to man to try to entice them to come out. It finally worked, possibly because they were so annoyed they figured they should come out just to make him stop.

Here is Sam wishing he had hands and arms like those gorillas.

So he can swing in trees and push over babies. I, however, don't think he would last a day. The sight of every animal instigated the line, "Holy crap, if I ever saw that in the wild I would run for my life."

But it appears that his true jungle calling lies with the giraffe.

We were so mad that we did not have the camera ready when this little sucker suddenly bent over to see what was in his hands. It came within inches, and Sam's face was a mix of shock and panic. Apparently he must have been a giraffe whisperer in a previous life.

My only close encounter with an animal came with this stupid bird.

It chased me down the sidewalk and tried to attack me while I was holding the baby. Luckily I was able to run really fast and escape behind Sam without getting pecked. It was a pretty close though. I hate birds, even if they are pink.

We had a tiring, but fun day at the zoo.
This cute birthday boy didn't quite make it through the day...

...and apparently the rest of us were not too far behind him.

Seriously, Again?

So the first time it happened was about a year and a half ago. Sam was on his way to school at about 8:30 am. He slowly climbed up the hill on his not so powerful motoped. There was a line of cars behind him, waiting for him to go faster. He reached the top of the hill and entered the school zone, where a cop was conveniently waiting for speeders. And who did he choose to pull over? Not the real cars with the capacity to go fast, the kid on the scooter which has a max speed of 35mph. Who would have ever thought Sam could be pulled over for speeding on little yoshi?

My favorite part of this story is what happened later that day. At this time Sam was working at Vantage Point, a 24 hour organization where cops and parents can bring troubled teens instead of taking them to the juvenile detention center. He had been at work for a few hours when a cop came to check in a kid. Sam recognized him right away, and asked the copper if he remembered Sam. I believe he responded with something along these lines: "Oh ya, I pulled you over this morning. You need to slow down." Seriously? Ok sir. I'm sure Sam will try to keep that in mind as he engages in his daily game of frogger, trying to get from one destination to the next without being squished.

So, this first time Sam got off with a warning and just a little bit of a sour taste in his mouth for the stupidity of cops in Utah. This morning, however, he was not so lucky. Once again, like most mornings, Sam was on his way to school. He reached the top of the hill slowly, but this time behind the long train of cars. Out of nowhere, the train of cars slows down drastically. Again, it was in front of the school zone, but this time it was late enough in the morning and the lights were not flashing. Curious Sam moved to the side of the lane to get a peak around the large truck and saw a cop sitting there, scaring the drivers. Before he knew it, the cop decided to pull him over for following too closely because he was one second behind the truck, but he needed to be two seconds away. Are you kidding me? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. When the flow of traffic is at 20 mph I am pretty sure that Sam will find the time to stop, sir. After all, he really just needs to put his feet down and stand up.



Furthermore, the law changed regarding licenses with motorcycles. Originally if your scooter was less than 50cc, you didn't need a special license, but apparently, now you do. So the cop rudely informed Sam he had to return home, and was not to drive the scooter again until he actually has a motorcycle license or else his motoped will be impounded. To make a long story short, he missed his class and came home where we spent the next few hours researching our best option to get this license. We finally decided that the best thing for us to do (because he needs to retain Idaho residency for med school apps, thus getting a Utah license is not an option) is, let the motoped sit until we can get to Boise.



I have always been a big fan of cops. I am the daughter of two police officers and have spent my entire life hearing stories and going to the police station for fun. I have been known to defend their honor when I hear others bashing them, but these Utah Cops are making it very hard for me to continue this practice.

So thanks a lot stupid cop with braces, now we get to drive to Boise for a day so we can get this whole mess straightened out. Oh and Jana, sorry you are the last to know, but can we stay with you on Saturday?

Terri-Spiders

Girls have long hair. Sometimes the hair falls out and when it does there are a number of things that happen to it. I thought that I saw the scariest of those things when I was in college and my friend (you know who you are Jayna) showed me the biggest, gooiest, glob of hair that I had ever seen; a huge hair ball pulled from the shower drain. I can still smell it if I close my eyes and focus. It looked like Cousin Itt after a rainstorm.

Recently I have found a scarier form that long hair can take. A form that preys on one of my greatest fears. No, not a world without maple bars, I'm talking about spiders. Specifically, black hairy spiders. I have pinpointed it to the dryer. That is when the sweet smelling hairs of Terri's head are transformed into this:

Now at first this may not look like much, but just add a little bit of peripheral vision and the element of surprise and in no time your brain sees this:



It usually goes something like this. I hastily pull on a t-shirt as I get ready to go wherever I happen to be late to when something tickles my neck. That's usually when the screaming, er, I mean manly shouting starts. I prefer to think that the Terri-spiders (yes that is their scientific name,) do not "scare" me so much as "startle" me. There is a big difference.

What's important is that if it ever came down to it I would battle a thousand black hairy spiders to protect my loved ones, but I pray with all my heart that such a day never comes because, man, I really hate spiders.

Prepping for the MCAT

Saturday morning Sam had his weekly MCAT class from 9am to 4pm...big suck. I had to be at work at 4pm so I was set on not seeing him the whole day because his little motoped goes about 35mph with a strong tail wind, which means a 20 minute drive home from school.

I spent a leisurely morning in pajamas, hanging out with the computer, when to my surprise Sam started a gmail chat with me. I wasn't sure what he was doing not paying attention in this very important class that he paid a lot of money to take, but don't worry folks, the other students were worse.

As he looked around the classroom, Sam spied with his little eyes:


A girl painting her toenails. The painting didn't bother Sam as much as the pre-painting filing and picking.


A couple of guys sleeping away.


Quite a few i phones out with screens of solitaire, bejewled, and other games.

But my personal favorite was hearing about the dude watching none other than...


...MTV's "the city." Now don't get me wrong, I am no stranger to the show, but seriously, there is a time and place for everything. Do I really want my future doctor learning about the drama chasing Whitney's new life in New York City during his MCAT class?

I guess there is a good possibility he won't be able to diagnose me, but at least he will be able to hold my attention with an in depth conversation on reality TV.

Krispy Kreme Adventure

On our weekly adventure with Wade we got to see the best invention known to Sam, the Krispy Kreme doughnut maker. I have never seen Sam and Wade so excited.

Here I am, passing on my infinite wisdom to cute Wade.

I made sure to explain that when given the opportunity to take a little doughnut or a big one, you always take the largest one you can get your hands on.

Here are the mesmerized boys, waiting for their freshly fried doughnuts to cool down and get frosted.

I don't think I could have gotten their attention if I wanted to.

Here they are picking out the ones they wanted, and I am sure in Sam's case, eating them in his head.

I don't know if I could get any closer to capturing pure joy.

Unfortunately for Sam, he has a much bigger mouth, so after SIX bites his THREE doughnuts were gone.

I believe his exact words here were, "Hey Wade, you gonna finish that?"

Fortunately for Wade, I taught him well.

And he showed Sam who was boss.

Happy Sumo Tales

The lunch shift at work was pretty busy today.
Positive outlook: more tables, which equals more money; and lets be honest, we could all use more of that these days.
Negative outlook: the odds of having to serve stupid, needy, and ridiculous people increase, oh lets say tenfold.

I had a few ridiculous tables today, but one of them definitely takes the cake. Here is a little background information on this guy:
He has been to Africa and he is very proud of himself for going. He feels that because he has been there, survived, and returned to the states he is cultured and great, and he wants to broadcast it to the world. He is pompous and arrogant and he also thinks he is funny, but he is not.

So he is eating his sushi with his little friends and giggling like a school girl. I go over to check on them, make sure everything is tasting good, and give them some more water. After I top off the three water glasses at the table he turns to me and asks, "when people leave, are their water glasses usually empty or full?" Now I get a lot of word questions from people, but this one was by far the strangest. I wasn't sure where he was going with it so I thought about it for a second and then let him know that it depends, but I try to keep people's water glasses as full as possible. After all, that is part of my job and who likes to run out of water while they are dining out? BIG MISTAKE. Apparently my answer was wrong, and for the next three minutes I heard about it.

He picked up his full glass, held it in front of me, and then proceeded to tell me that he just got back from Africa and the amount of water in that glass was all that a LUCKY family of five there would have to SHARE for a full day. It would be used for drinking, bathing, cooking, cleaning, etc. That was it. And let me add that he continued to emphasize that if they were lucky that is what they would get, the unlucky ones did not have any water at all. He told me that I should be ashamed of how much water was wasted in this restaurant. He said that he kept looking around at all the half full water glasses that we carried back to the kitchen to dump down the drain and it was awful. He said from now on I should ask people if they want water, before I just do the wasteful thing and pour it for them.

I was left speechless. I have been yelled at for a lot of things at that restaurant, but giving out too much water has never been one of them, till now. Unfortunately (and possibly fortunately for the sake of my job) it happened to be one of those moments where you can't think of anything clever to say back until two hours later, so I just sheepishly told him okay and walked away as he turned, kind of chuckling, back to his friends.

Let me start out by saying, I do not like him, and if I ever get fired from the sumo there is a real good chance it is because he returned to eat and I tell him one of my two hour later comebacks, or just do the simple thing and waste more water by "spilling" it on him.
Secondly, are you serious dude? Who do you think you are? Maybe next time you GO OUT TO EAT, instead of worrying about all the water being wasted in the restaurant, you should think about the food that you are wasting when there are STARVING kids in Africa.

I'll settle for a truce, you do not tell me how to serve my tables, and I won't tell you how to save Africa.

A Very Boise Weekend

This past weekend we made a quick trip up to Boise. We were sad it was for Grandma Lois Braden's funeral, but it was a very nice service and we we're glad we could be there.

Here are a few things I learned from Boise:

I don't like the smell of throw up. It makes me gag, a lot. And little kids barf. Maybe i'm not ready for my own quite yet. I think its better to be the aunt and uncle who make them laugh so hard they throw up. That way you can give them back to their mom and walk away from the clean up and smell :)

Playing trivial pursuit is only fun when you cheat. That way you actually have a shot at winning. It's even better when no one realizes you are cheating and they think you are really smart also.

Jack in the Box is not a healthy breakfast. And its not smart to eat it before a funeral. I am also pretty close to proving that its worse to sit next to someone who has eaten it than to eat it yourself.

Grandpa's are pretty cute when they fall asleep while talking to you.

Church is always more entertaining when there are babies around to watch and play with.

It is possible for a two year old to know each letter of the alphabet and the sign language to accompany it; plus his numbers and colors too. He is pretty much a genius. Maybe he should be on Ellen.

No matter how strong you may think you are, if you hold a twenty-two pound baby for too long your arms will get sore.

The drive from Orem to Boise gets longer each time.

The end of the weekend means back to school, tests, studying, and work. Not fun

And lastly, I married into a pretty great family. Thanks for letting us stay with you Jana and Chuck. We loved seeing you.